First

Switching to a more easily accessible blog because I almost never write in my other ones. My older blogs were usually just stream-of-conscious ramblings that I only wrote when in extreme situations, or these poorly written essays.

I'm starting to lose memory of things very fast, so this blog is written mostly for me. I dont' have good memory of anything anymore, almost no memories from HS, middle school, or elementary school. I can picture things but no events. So i'm going to write about events that cause me to feel a certain feeling so that in the future I might be able to recall that event.

So I received today what I at first thought was a sick April Fools joke from my mother. She told me "after a long hard 2 days of sickness, our cat, Carmel has died". Dismissing it at first as simply an April fools joke, I later realized that my mother probably doesn't even know what an April Fool's joke is. Then as the truth dawned on me, I tightened up in my body. I felt like I did not really spend as much time as I wanted to with Carmel before he died. However, it is 30 minutes now since I last received the news. I am at peace completely.